Classic Twitter Thread Describes Insufferable Failed Date with Pretentious Dude

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Feb 26, 2019 8:00 PM EST

Why is it so easy to notice dating mistakes when you're not the one making them? It's like this guy makes every wrong turn you could think of. The self-importance on this dude is absolutely majestic. In case you aren't familiar with this planet, this is not the first time dudes have made mistakes on dates.

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  • 01
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Watching a couple on what appears to be a terrible first coffee date at the table next to me. Dude is every precious self- involved writer. 4:12 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 267 母154 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault "I'm writing a screenplay. It's about this guy who never really feels like he fits in. Like he's just different" 4:13 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 178 母121
    via anne_theriault
  • 02
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault "People tell me I look like James Franco." 4:15 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 145 t97 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault She keeps politely asking him questions. Not once has he asked her about herself. Wait he just asked if she'd ever dated a writer wtf 4:17 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 204 122
    via anne_theriault
  • 03
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault "Writing is really hard. People don't know that. It involves a lot of introspection, a lot of wrestling with your own demons." 4:19 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 150 母110 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault He's now complaining about the "body" of the coffee, telling her he knows a place that doesn't over-roast their beans 4:26 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 154 t97
    via anne_theriault
  • 04
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Girl works for a non-profit. Dude is condescendingly explaining to her why most non-profit models don't work, he looked into making one once 4:35 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 163 t101 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Every single thing she mentions he "did that one time, with my buddy" and is now an expert in 4:38 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 134 92 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Girl: I actually love cooking Dude:
    via anne_theriault
  • 05
    Text - Anne Theriault Follow @anne_theriault "A lot of my friends are having kids but I don't know," "self- conscious laugh* "I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby." 4:43 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 88 母61 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault OH NO NOW HE'S TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS FEAR OF HAVING CHILDREN STEMS FROM HIS DADDY ISSUES AND I CANNOT 4:45 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 154 t 84
    via anne_theriault
  • 06
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Girl has a look of mild panic. 4:46 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 113 t3 77 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Girl just looked at her phone in feigned surprise. "Oh weird, I have a text from my mom." I just snorted audibly, turned it into fake cough 4:50 PM - 3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada 275 母103 Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Dude, oblivious: "oh yeah? That's awesome, I don't think my mom even knows how to text" 4:51 PM -
    via anne_theriault
  • 07
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault Girl: "yeah, she's, uh, worried she left her stove on. she's in a meeting and can't go home. l'd better go check for her." 4:53 PM -3 Jul 2015 Toronto, Ontario, Canada t 87 213 Anne Thériault @anne_theriault Follow Dude: do you want to go and come back? Girl: It's pretty far. Maybe we can do this again next week? I'll text you OUT THE DOOR LIKE A SHOT 4:58 PM - 3 Jul 2015 315 t95
    via anne_theriault
  • 08
    Text - Anne Thériault Follow @anne_theriault He just opened his laptop and started typing. I hope it's a sad story about his life. 4:59 PM -3 Jul 2015 304 t 87
    via anne_theriault

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date cringe relationships story funny stupid dating coffee
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